For the socially awkward person (self-esteem).

For the socially awkward

 

I’ve been there. Sometimes, with one foot still slightly there. And then, there are those days when the creeping feelings threat back.

Feeling slightly anxious around people is not a new thing, but you and I know how far it can go on certain occasions for certain people, leading to a real struggle.

I am here to share my experience and to say hey, me too.

Life is full of surprises and changes and in my case, my self-esteem drop when I moved country and just by my silly perfectionist being. Saying the right thing was key, trying not to annoy anyone? essential. Being the foreigner but trying so hard to seem the common neighbour. But you know what? It can be very exhausting.

But hey, I am not trying to help you in your pity bubble. It didn’t help me, neither will do so to you.  I am here to offer my hand and admit to you this: I don’t have this figured out but I can certainly say this few changes in my mindset helped me to find a better way to deal with my socially awkward being.

 

1. It’s good being aware of the fact that you can go through a phase of being ”socially awkward” but that doesn’t define you.

 

When I found other people classifying themselves as socially awkward, this gave me a sense of relief. It released some pressure off my shoulders. Then I would openly introduce myself as ‘shy’ and convinced myself it was just how I was.

You see, stress can make  everything look bigger so if having a term release off a bit of it and help you see things with more clarity, great! But then, it is important to know it is a phase, a normal part of maturity. It is not a comfortable place to stay hidden but a running start.

Underneath that uncomfortable smile, it is found a person who has a lot to offer (even if it might take a while to come out -but that is fine.)

 

2. Low self-esteem can hide a lot of pride and self-centred issues you might need to deal with.

 

Ouch. It hurts. I know. It hurt when I was at church and heard the minister quoted CS Lewis

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”

and he added: ”and think more of God”. It was a nasty truth that challenged me deeply.

”I don’t know what to say, they will think I am dumb if I say this, what they would think if I do this, I am so shy, why can’t I be more outgoing, why am I so quiet? I feel so awkward…”

That realisation got me tearful eyes during the sermon. I started being sick of ”I”. I thought my low self-esteem at least had the good point of keeping my humble but I was missing the whole point. I was looking at myself 24/7, talking to myself more than with anybody else and justifying myself of not sharing what I was with someone that needed it.

I wasn’t doing a good job taking care of the people God has placed in my life in order to protect myself.

 

3. Thoughts and feelings don’t have to have the last say. 

 

Sometimes you have to stop listening to yourself and make yourself listen to some truth.

Realizing all of the above was good but didn’t quite fix my feelings and thoughts overnight, they kept and keep creeping out from time to time, but that’s alright.

If something I learned is that I cannot waste my life waiting for my feelings and thoughts to be in the right place to move. I can move towards what I know in my heart is right (even if that means to tell myself ”get a grip, girl”.)

My feelings and thoughts will have to play catch up, I’ll keep moving on.

Why, my soul, are you downcast?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

Psalm 42:11

As a Christian, It really moved me how was this person’s response to his broken-feeling soul. He reminded truth to himself and you know what? I will yet praise him. This broke all my excuses, my silly creeping thoughts because you know what? I will yet praise him. He is my salvation, not me.

Yet. My feelings will have to follow.

My dear socially awkward friend, you are not alone. I know how it feels like feeling out of place, like nobody really gets you, and times when you don’t do it either. I’ve been there. Still, I do time to time.

But there’s a moment in life when you realise you have to put down your feelings and take a choice of moving out of your comfort zone for the sake of others and yourself too (even if that takes a few or thousand trials). Keep trying. Keep moving on.

Yet, I will take a chance.

 

My dear socially awkward friend, the world might be moving on but -hey, now it’s your turn

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What about you? Have you ever seen yourself as a ”socially awkward” person?

What would you tell to someone who struggles to be her/himself?

Share me your experience, I’d love to hear from you!

 

 

’20 Things I’ve Learned In My 20’s’.

 

 

I’m the kind of person that always feel like a child. Yes, it is weird for me to imagine myself as a ‘grown-up adult’ but I guess I am. Rather, I am on my way to becoming one and, like everything in life, It is mostly more about the journey than the destination.

It’s funny looking back and remembering how badly I wanted to grow up faster so I could do the “fun things” grown-ups do (yes, working was included). From pretending I had my own desk made of boxes and phone books as my “work-to-do” to stealing some mom’s make up in order to look older (or a professional fulltime clown).

You know what is even funnier? I thought I would feel like an adult at my 20’s.

One day last summer, I started writing more and more about my experiences in my own personal notebook (okay, my diary-or-whatsoever.) and this crazy title came to my mind

20 things I’ve learned in my 20’s.

I actually thought it was a bit ambitious to come up with 20 things, but hey, here we go… Continue reading “’20 Things I’ve Learned In My 20’s’.”

When life gets (looks) too busy.

On next week’s blog will see how our life can change significantly when we are present. Today I leave you with a post I wrote almost a year ago as an introduction to next week’s one. Did you miss the latest posts? Check -them out! Hope you enjoy it, don’t forget to subscribe to see the second part next week! Enjoy!

The fearless gal 💕xxx


Biomedical Science
University of Strathclyde

Life. Time.

There was me, smiling and feeling absolutely fulfilled looking at him. He was going to sleep and I could get his very important time before to sleep, before going into his dreams’ corner, his peaceful time.

My brother is 9 years old, almost 10. He is my treasure. My little one.

I remember how my heart was so excited to see him for the very first time that could pop out of my chest and run a marathon by itself. It is funny how I prayed almost every day in a year (not kidding) for having a little new sibling, just before having lunch with the family, in front of whoever delighted us with their presence. Sounds cute, isn’t it? Not for my parents, who did not know where to hide when we had guests. Sorry. But it worked!

 

And almost 10 years later… here I am, sharing with him a few words before he goes to sleep, to encourage his heart and help him to have good dreams.

Continue reading “When life gets (looks) too busy.”

What your bilingual friend never tells you.

Last week we talked about the two most wanted-to-know questions about bilinguals, if you missed them, you can check them out first and then carry on with this post with the mystery title with it. Maybe I am overreacting a little, but that’s the fun part of it.

After reading the first post, it’s already crystal clear that life it’s not always fancy for those strange beings –the bilinguals. There are the messy beginnings, but I suppose that’s just life.

Before coming to Scotland I had all sorted out in my mind:

  1. In one or two months I will be an official bilingual.
  2. In one year I will be already over-qualified to start a degree in English.

It’s funny how learning a language in the actual country is not what is cracked up to be. It’s like, by magic, the fact that you are there, maybe something in the air, or the British tea (hmm) will make you release the tongue and your posh English will come out, out of the blue.

How did I manage to learn English (or rather get a plain decent level of communication)? That’s another post, stay tuned!
But how do we manage to stay (mostly) sane while learning the language and what we don’t tell you while we smile politely and nod? That’s the real deal here.

Continue reading “What your bilingual friend never tells you.”

From your bilingual(-to-be) friend.

“So, when you think… Do you do it in English or in Spanish?”

If I earned a penny every time I hear this question, I would probably not be either a millionaire nor rich but I would probably have enough to buy me a cup of tea (probably not). The point is that it is a common question when you are considered bilingual’’. I guess that getting that title was on my bucket list, although I’ve realized from my years of studying English that becoming bilingual is more about being able to communicate (fairly decently) than actually mastering the language because let’s face it, I’m still learning my own language (If not forgetting it bit by bit on the way).

So, in this blog, I wanted to tackle two questions people ask me about being bilingual, therefore if you speak more than one language and have friends who ask you the same kind of questions you can throw them these little nuggets of wisdom (and save yourself a lot of time -you are welcome.) Let’s start with the question of the million dollars.  Continue reading “From your bilingual(-to-be) friend.”